An assault which in my view was astonishing, but was the means to thanks:

‘The worldly’, who are extraordinarily egotistical, are so sensitive in their egotism that if it had been conscious, it would have reached the degree of wonder-working or of great genius. The matter in question was this:

Through the sensitive balance of their egotism, they perceive in me a little hypocritical egotism which I had not perceived with my soul and mind, and in violent fashion confront this egotism which I had not realized. This eight or nine years I have experienced the following eight or nine times: after they have treated me wrongfully and unjustly, I have considered Divine Determining and searched out the tricks of my soul, saying: “Why have they been set to pester me?” Each time I have understood that my soul has unconsciously and naturally inclined to egotism, or else has knowingly deceived me. So then I have said that within the injustice of those tyrants Divine Determining has acted justly towards me.

For instance, this summer my friends mounted me on a fine horse and I rode out into the countryside. On a selfish desire for pleasure awakening in me without my being aware of it, ‘the worldly’ opposed that hidden desire of mine so violently that they destroyed not only it, but also my appetite for many other things. Even, for example, following Ramadan and after learning of the allusions made to us through his wonder-working which penetrated the Unseen by one of the great, holy imams of former times, faced with the piety and sincerity of my brothers and the respect and good opinion of visitors, without my realizing it, my soul wanted proudly to assume a hypocritical position under the veil of being thankful. Suddenly with their infinite sensitivity and in a way in which the very particles of hypocrisy could be felt, ‘the worldly’ attacked me. I thank Almighty God that their tyranny became a means of my gaining sincerity.

And say: “O my Sustainer! I seek refuge with you from the suggestions of the Evil Ones. * And I seek refuge with You lest they should come near me.”³

O God! O Protector! O Preserver! O Best of Protectors! Preserve me and preserve my companions from the evil of the soul and of Satan, and from the evil of people of misguidance and of rebellion. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Glory be unto You! We have no knowledge save that which You have taught us; indeed, You are All-Knowing, All-Wise.⁴

FOOTNOTES

1. Qur’an, 65:3.

2. The New Said says: I do concur with the words utterly here proudly by the Old Said, but I cannot silence him since I gave him say in this treatise. Thinking, Let him display a bit of egotism before the egotists, I am silent.

3. Qur’an, 23:97.

4. Qur’an, 2:32.